Within4Walls

Kotebetta trek

2008-04-08T23:54:00.007+05:30

there is a pleasure in the pathless woods;
there is a rapture on the lonely shore;
there is society, where none intrudes,
by the deep sea, and music in its roar:
i love not man the less, but nature more...
-lord byron

Kotebetta, the third tallest peak of the kodagu district of the western ghats was the recent spot we chose to trek on the long first weekend of April. We went through the usual rhetoric of getting ready for the trek. Freeda came up with the trek plan and holistic as usual, while the guys made plans to hire tent equipments and bed packs. As for myself i reached Bangalore on the 4Th. On the same night selva, bajji, pradeep, dinesh, freeda, and myself gathered at the kempagowda bus terminal to catch our late night bus to coorg.

We reached coorg in the wee hours of the next day. After finishing our early breakfast, we took a local bus to hattihole. Hattihole is a small village situated at about 20 km from coorg. It is a beautiful little village with warm people and serene surroundings. The group got ready to follow the track which would take us to the base of kotebetta mount.

On our way..

We walked across a hanging bridge, took few snaps and continued further. We halted at one of the houses where we were heartily welcomed and given hot water for our ready made noodles. After a while we continued further. We started experiencing a slow ascend and realized that we had come closer to the base of the mountain. It led us through a forest area with tall tropical trees and plants. An hour into the trek we came across a small stream of water body. We rested there a bit and took some snaps of bright red colored beetles.

Further on we came across a small open area which revealed to us the mighty kotebetta in the distance. It was one helluva tough journey to be made!The climate got really hot and sweaty and there was also this constant breeze grazing through us with a constant hiss!

Slowly but steadily we ascended various rocky plains and plateaus. Very often we came across steepness that ranged from forty to sixty degrees. Kotebetta challenged us unlike any other! It was hot, we were getting dehydrated, the steepness was brutal, we were running low on water supplies; and to top it off we had heavy gears to carry along with our groceries.

After hours of walking our way towards the mountain we came across herds of wild oxen grazing over the mountains. One has to take extreme caution while walking amidst them. Usually they are sober creatures, but get a little petrified to see people hanging around in their hood! After passing the wild oxen and walking for about an hour or so, we finally reached at the top. The total trek lasted about five to six hours

The View from up above..

"The core of mans' spirit comes from new experiences."

We reached the open space atop kotebetta which holds a small sanctum of lord Shiva at one corner and two natural ponds nearby. The view from there was breathtaking! we were facing the valley from west and the ghats ran across its breadth under our feet. In the distance we could see similar mountains spreading across a minblowing 180' degree view. We soon unpacked ourselves and pitched our tents. Pradeep started collecting dry woods for later purpose. We gathered water from the ponds which was not clean but we somehow managed to filter it with handkerchief. We gathered near a beautiful summit to finish our late lunch and relaxed near the cliff to witness the sun go down. To me it was the most exhilarating and spiritual experience!!

The night dawned and pradeep helped us lit the bon fire.It soon became pitch dark and the mist from the nearby mount descended onto our tents. It became really cold. we decided to go to sleep after having our elaborate supper.

The morning after, started a little late for us. We gathered up slowly to witness the sun rise and moring mist disappearing into the shoulders of nearby mountains. After having our breakfast of remaining baked beans, bread and cheese with fruits and biscuits, we dismantled our tents and reach the highest point of kotebetta. This small mount gave us a brilliant view of the entire valley down below with river cauvery motionless at a distance.

After spending a considerable time up there we got back, gathered our items and started our descend down. The descend was comparatively effortless. On our way down we met fellow trekkers who suggested that we try a different shot route. We followed a different route that led us to a village called mahadevpura. We realized that we were nearing civilization when our muddy trek tracks changed to dilapitated taar roads. The entire descend lasted about three to four hours and we reached the village to catch our local bus back to madikeri. In madikeri we finished our lunch and took our bus to reach mysore and then to bangalore.

"What if I were smiling and running into your arms? Would you see then what I see now?"

Dubare-Water Rafting

2007-08-12T22:06:00.002+05:30

White water rafting at dubaarey. six kilometers from kabinakaad, coorg. During monsoon, the stream simulates anything between class 3 to class 4 rapids!! A must go!!

These ones were taken along with my usual trek gang...again in dubarey..a week after :P

Kodachadri - A Monsoon trek

2007-07-15T21:46:00.007+05:30

7.7.07

The Journey begins...

It all started three weeks prior. Mails ran across to and fro; countless chat sessions and innumerable calls. All of these confirmed just one thing; that the group was ready for yet another adventurous trek. After thoughtful discussions we decided upon Kodachadri. Freddy was the one to suggest Kodachadri. With the arrival of yeshwant from Delhi, the group wanted to do something exciting. We decided to start from Bangalore on the 6th of July and spend that weekend over the mountain. Yeshwant, along with freeda, Kannan and Rajesh Mukkat came to Bangalore on Friday while Dinesh (who was actually not going to make it for the trek, surprised us all by starting little late), Savitha, Rabbs, Inigo and myself geared towards getting things done for the trek.

The group took a night bus to Shimoga from the KSRTC bus stand. The ticket was nominal and the journey lasted about seven to eight hours. At early morning we reached the Shimoga district. Dinesh joined us in Shimoga later in the morning.

8.7.07

Nithur ferry ride...

From Shimoga we took a local bus to Nithur. The journey to Nithur was very exciting because at some point the bus had to cross through a river in a small ferry. The bus carefully gets onto the ferry and takes a 20 minutes journey crossing the river banks of Cauvery. At Nithur we had the jeeps of the PWD guest house waiting for us. The jeep went further a distance of 20 Kms and dropped us near a muddy detour. After getting primary route instructions and changing to a more trekkable costume we started our journey up the mountain.

Climbing KodaChadri...

Kodachadri is the highest peak in Shimoga district; and probably one of the most challenging destinations for avid trekkers. People who have scaled this mountain especially during peak rainy season will relate to exactly what I am saying. At 1343 meters above sea level, KC is the most serene mountains of the Western Ghats.

It started to rain the moment we started our trek. First it was mild and then it became a constant shower. The further we gained altitude the more it got cold. The path wasn’t all that steep but rain made it difficult to ascend. Within minutes we were totally drenched and our back packs got heavier. We took short breaks wherever we could find shades and kept on moving. The Lush green and the scenic beauty made our hiking worthwhile.

On our way and approximately an hour into our trekking we came across a small tea shop, owned by (who else!) a mallu! But the shop was closed and we couldn’t get much help with the directions. People who trek KC usually pass through this shop where one can get medicines for leech bite and a good cup of tea, puttu and chukka.

We reached our second base after a while which happened to be a small school. The school was closed (lucky school kids!) because of the heavy rain. During our concourse we had a tough time tracking our path because due to rain the trek tracks got erased and we weren’t sure if we were on the right direction. To keep things simple we followed a jeep trail that seems to be going directly up the mountain through a forest area.

At different point of time we halted and took rest, but mostly we were on our foot fearing leeches. Freeda (our team medic!) was at our mercy applying turmeric and salt based compounds on our leech bites. The Trek tracks got slippery and mercilessly challenging since water from the constant rain gathered momentum and started streaming down our routes. Savitha by now started developing breathing problems due to over exertion and lack of oxygen. She somehow managed to continue with taking frequent breaks.

After long hours of trek we came across an open area where cattle were grazing. Information we extracted from one of the blogs revealed that we were on the right track. We followed the track and came across a small rivulet. It was so tempting that Freeda and I decided to take a dip till the rest of the people caught up with us. The water was fresh and it was chill. It was so refreshing. While Inigo, Kannan, Yeshwant and Rajesh Mukkath marching way ahead of Freeda and me, we were still waiting for Dinesh, Savitha and Rabbani to catch up with us. After we met up with them, we climbed further up and reached the Meenakshi amman temple (sarvajna peetha) and further up we reached the PWD guesthouse and were welcomed by Inigo and lot with a hot cup of tea and fresh dry towels!!.

9.7.07

The day after...

After spending the night in the PWD guesthouse we started the next day late afternoon amidst a heavy rain. The PWD guest house owner offered to drop us down to a nearest village at an expense of 150 Rs per head. We were shocked at first, but later realized that the driver had actually done us a favor by dropping us.

On our way down we witnessed that the road wad badly damaged, with uprooted trees and fresh landslides. The landslides were as deep and streams of water flew down the road making it completely impossible for us to descend down without proper guidance. It took us two hours to reach down, although it felt like eternity! The Driver did his best maneuvering the jeep on that road ensuring our safety at all times and at the same time dodging the land slides and tree trunks.

Finally we reached down, and got dropped near Nithur bus stand from where we took a bus back to Shimoga. Shimoga is a beautiful town with beautiful and warm hearted population. We rented a room in a hotel and changed our dresses and had a lavish dinner before we took our bus back to Bangalore.

Chembra peak

2007-02-12T12:20:00.019+05:30

11.02.2007

Reaching Mysore…

This short trip from Bangalore to Mysore turned out to be really exciting. A group of six (Pradeep, Dinesh,Tarun, Rajesh, Inigo and myself) started at around half past four and found our way through the bustling traffic of Bangalore streets. On our way to Mysore we halted at 24 hr coffee day for a while and raced towards Mysore. The Ride was planned to a strategic precision, where we maintained a formation of bikes in such an order that we ensured bikes registered with Tamil Nadu numbers stayed in the middle of the roads with its head lights off while its Karnataka registered counterparts were on both sides forming a v-shape. All in all it proved to be a great technique because we were crossing a very sensitive area by the name Mandiya, where there were constant clash between farmers of Tamil Nadu and Karnataka

After reaching Praveen’s house, we immediately set out to buy groceries for the actual trek. Praveen and I decided that each person will carry his own set of grocery so that the dependability factor is nullified. We planned in such a way that each person had his own share of water, juices, chocolate bars and biscuits. By this time “Chinki” dinesh joined the gang who set out from Bangalore a little later than we did. That night we stayed in Praveen’s house after an elaborate dinner hoping to get a good night sleep.

To Wayanad and beyond…
At half past five in the morning the group got ready (surprise!) to start our journey towards Wayanad. The total journey itself lasted about three and half to four hours. The Road was fairly decent till Gundelpet the last major town in Karnataka. After about 55km from Gundelpet we reached Sultan Batheri in Kerela. We had the most memorable ride into the jungle roads of Bandipur forest range and Marthunga wildlife sanctuary. The Roads were pretty bad and crooked. The View was splendid and we witnessed hoards of tensed elephants trying to cross the road and hide quickly into the woods.

We reached Sultan Batheri at around quarter past ten. Another 15km into Kerela led us to Kalpetta where we halted for our morning breakfast. (Dins debacle with his stomach indigestion was about to begin!!) As soon as we finished our breakfast we rode towards the foot of the peak and reached it in thirty minutes. On our way to the hill we entered into beautiful tea plantations that stole our breath away.

The Mighty Chembra…

After a preliminary halt near the base to recheck our bags and groceries the group of eight started our onward trek towards mount Chembra. The Chembra is of colossal 7100 feet. At 2100 mts above sea level, Chembra is the largest peak of Wayanad and probably one of the tallest of the Western Ghats. The climb was gruesome at 60 degrees all time. The climate was hot and humid. The trek starts at the foot of the hill near a watch tower (base 1) and goes up towards a small tea plantation (base 2). From the tea plantation we were Advised to keep right which led us to a small forests area (Base 3). The team tired by now, took short breaks. Dinesh due to his excessive binging of parotta for breakfast started puking and quickly got dehydrated. He couldn’t continue further as he started developing cramps in his lower stomach. Inigo and Tarun on the contrary decide that the trek is taking its toll on their body (thanks much to their smoking habits),decides to stay put near the heart shaped lake.

The rest of the team continued to march forward while Tarun, Inigo and Dinesh slowly followed us. After a while we reached an open area, a small valley with a heart shaped lake in the middle of it. It was one of the most beautiful hill-side valleys I have ever seen. We halted there for about forty five minutes till the time it took Inigo, Tarun and Dinesh to catch up with us. We emptied our bags to bare minimum of edibles and drinking water and marched further.

We continued our trek and came across some plains and forest areas. After the lake, the climb was pretty steep approaching 60 degrees. During that time climate was pretty chill and we slowly left behind the humidity and heat of the plateaus. We marched on further and met a group of school scouts finding their way back down from the hill. We met them on our way, took some snaps and proceeded till we reached some rocky surfaces. The rocks were quit edgy and slippery. One needed extreme caution while climbing those rocks. At around late noon we finally reached the top of the hill. It was one of the most Exhilarating view I have ever enjoyed. Reaching the top gave us a sense of Accomplishment like none other. Every where we turned; we witnessed beauty. From the top we could zoom into the group of our friends we left behind using my trusted digital camera. Reaching on top we howled and shouted victory slogans disbelieving that we had actually scaled one of the largest mountains of the Western Ghats.

The way back...
The descend was comparatively effortless. While on top we opened up our groceries and exhausted it. The way down was very slippery and pretty steep. Extreme caution was taken to place the foot where the grip was good. After a short while we reached back the heart shaped lake. Our friends were relaxing under the shades of the trees and chilling out. We stayed there a while and exhausted our groceries furthermore and started our descent one and for all. It took us about two hours to reach the base tower and back to the foot of the hill. Exhausted and yet with full of energy and enthusiasm we chuckled and Patted one everyone’s shoulder for making that wonderful trek a success!!.

Tonic for life..

2006-08-23T08:11:00.000+05:30

Life is a Bitch...some screw it while others make love...!!

Hide And Seek..!!

2006-06-19T16:23:00.000+05:30

Closing eyes,
counting numbers,
awaiting in silence...

to search every corners,
walking thro the allies,
raising dancing curtains...

pounding on thy prey,
hiding in the dark wishing
not to be seen
in a game of hide and seek..!!

Toy Soldier - a Monologue

2006-02-27T15:49:00.000+05:30

The Night is cold, freezin cold. It’s some goddamn cathedral. All tht is left of it were the pillars and the obliterated walls. Some one had smoked the holy lord right outta his cross. I’m sitting near where the altar was before and I looked up. I could see the stars. Such scenery! I have always loved gazin at the stars back home with Irene. She was the one who would always guess the correct constellations. Truly I never acted being wiser with her. She knew every bit bout me. My past, my ambition to join the force, my dream to have a hood of my own…she knew it all. Surprisingly it was hers as well. With her backing me up, I never had the problem to convince my hommies when I got posted to Iraq. Being a shrink; she knew exactly how to convince them. She promised me tht she will be there to take care of them. She was always stronger and more levelheaded. Pity why she chose me!

The air was warm and smoky and all I could breathe were gun powders and petro-canisters. I am tired. My ankle is swollen for good. Walkin our way through the plateaus for the roundabout I must have been badly wounded. They were expecting us alright! It was the longest evening of my life. Everyone I came to know of in these few months fell to their knees one after the other. Even Charlie! Or tht’s how I used to call him. He was pretty messed up when I found him in the bunkers holdin tight to his gewehr 33/40 breathing hard. Blood oozin through is vocal. He was in pain. Or at least tht’s what the scream meant. When I reached for him, he must’ve been half dead or was getting there. I eased out his helmet. He wanna speak but tht shell in his chord was only making things worse. He searched his pockets and handed me his wallet. I opened it to find a photo of a dame and a nine month old. Charlie probably wanted me to let his lady know tht he wasn’t coming home. Or may be he wanted me to see how his baby boy was looking. All innocent and cuddly on his momma’s lap seeing straight into my eyes. I wouldn’t know for sure. I held Charlie close till he was gone.

I lay right next him exhausted and sleepy. I couldn’t take it no more. I wished it all end. I wished I could go back! Back to Irene! I looked around and nothing seems to make sense. How did I get my self into this? I wasn’t too sure. I checked my cartridge and had almost exhausted my pack. I was thirsty. I checked for the cognac. It was empty. I remember! I hadta give it to Marv when the infantries found him in the gutter. He must’ve gotten ejected outta some land mine explosion. Both his legs looked like minced meat.
Hell yeah he was in pain! The medic had not seen such a mess. We hadta tox him so the medics can do their work. Marv was a brave man. He knew what was coming. Taking the cognac,in one shot ol’marv smiled at me and said “Tis ones on ya sarge!”

Its tht same chill feeling again! Only this time much colder! I must be blackin out. My head was spinning and I couldn’t see clear. I was hungry I guess. Funny my stomach was paining and my hip was wet and warm. It musta been so, for an hour or more. Must’ve been a leech suckin away my blood and withering off before I could even realize. All I could sense is some kinda punctured mark. A nauseating feeling crept in. I…wanna...Close my eyes!...I wanna...go back!...I...

?..

2006-02-16T12:46:00.000+05:30

Oscillating thoughts
Swirls and unswirls into,
The arduous conundrums of mind!
Second after second
Anonymous commotions are born
Nude and convoluted,
Abstract and factious as
Parlous parodies;
Phony metaphors;
Obstreperous conflicts,
Dictating Contradictions,
All seem too complex
Such as the mind in itself;
That bears them into an
intricate mesh of quagmires.
Never known too vivid
Like the anchored question
That I keep asking myself
The why? The who? What?
When and where and how?

--------------------

I learn and unlearn striving to
Reflect my Outlook,
Foster my Thoughts,
Assume and presume opinions!
Taught to see, hear and learn
from mistakes of others and that of my own!
Realizing possibilities from
Why? To why not and can I? To I can…
All through the way seeking truth from within!!

....preguntas y respuestas

Belated Wishes..

2006-02-15T09:55:00.000+05:30

To Those of you who were alone on 14th february..happy Independence day!

Thadiyendamol – A Travelog

2006-02-09T12:10:00.001+05:30

“It is the not the destination that matters; but the journey you take towards it”

With that note on I would like to share my reminiscence of the place my friends and I trekked last weekend. Thadiyendamol which means “the highest peak” in kudagu a regional language of the south Karnataka, India is a must see for all nature lovers, trekkers, and just about anybody who would want to be as close to mother nature as possible.

A group of four including myself left Bangalore last Friday with not much interest to leave the Friday night parties and late night televisions. And yet we did. We took a bus to Veerajpet which is about 250 odd kilometers from Bangalore. Veerajpet is a lazy small town down the south western tip of Karnataka. A town with a sensible mixture of the natives, tamilians, malayalis etc. We waited through the early morning to catch a bus to Kabinakkadu. A one hour journey (about 20 Kms) to this village through the serene mountains and hutments was very inviting to the contrary busy roads and concrete structures of the city. We arrived at this place and were welcomed by Suresh Chengappa of the honey valley estate.

Note: Regular buses from KSRTC are available everyday to Veerajpet. With 185 rupees per head the journey would last about five hours. Once in Veerajpet go to the local bus stand to take a private bus “Anuradha” to Kabinakkadu. The ticket cost rupees twenty per head. More about Suresh and his honey valley retreat here

Honey valley estate:

“You fought your way through,
You struggled hard to follow,
You grew weak walking,
You endured all to be with her and her entirety”

Honey valley is a small estate owned by Suresh in kakkabe in Kabinakkadu. He lives there with his wife and two daughters and had converted the whole estate into this beautiful resort with small rooms well equipped (with clean toilets) for people to stay and spend a day or two. The estate directly faces a comb of mountains of the Western Ghats. The Estate is aesthetically located on a small valley surrounded by mountains. We met quiet a lot of trekkers and tourists of Indian origin and otherwise already staying there and were setting out on their own interesting expeditions.

We had a quick breakfast prepared by them and started a little late loading ourselves with lot of water, chocolates and instant noodles. We were given a map book by suresh Chengappa to help our way through the mountains. Thus our journey to Thadiyendamol began.

Note: Our group decided to take a room to accommodate four people which costed us thousand rupees. Good Breakfast, Lunch, and dinner is served in the retreat(mostly vegetarian. Non-vegetarian food is available on request)

Saddle rock:

“You looked in awe at her beauty;
Trying to concoct your senses!
With arrogance in voice you mumble:
‘I came just to see you!’
The rivulet hisses back in mockery
For she has always been there”

This is a pit stop mountain right before Thadiyendamol where trekkers usually tent and spend a night before climbing the peak. People who reach here can realize the breathtaking multitude of the peak.

Towards Thadiyendamol and beyond:

“She bears you, the way she bears
her trees, her mountains and her oceans!
You, her, them existing in perfect harmony
You try and reveal your naked self
And hence becoming her own”

The path we took towards Thadiyendamol was a five kilometer stretch over small valleys, mountains, streams of rivulets and plateaus. The Trek was pretty challenging given the fact that we all were carrying heavy backpacks with water and food. But the experience was nevertheless thrilling. We witnessed true incarnations of nature in the form of forest flowers, tall trees, synchronous mountains and hard rocks. The streams we passed were inviting for a dip.

We walked our ways following paths already been made by fellow trekkers in the past. After three hours we struggled to reach the top. The scenic view of the Western Ghats can never be explained or written about. The misty clouds foams down and merge into nothingness with the mountains afar. Wherever we turned, it was greenery at its best. Here and there hard brown rock sprouted out of the greeneries adding to an immaculate contrast of nature’s effervescence. The silence of the mountain and the mellifluous hiss of mountain grass to the western wind were very soothing to the ears.
Selfishly inhaling every bit of clean cold air the mountain had to offer we took few photos, prepared and ate our lunch and rested for a while before starting our journey back down to saddle rock and to the honey valley retreat.

All in all it was a very memorable experience for our group and personally a spiritual one. Hope this would be helpful to you and your friends if you wish to make a trip to this beautiful peak and have a memorable time.

Note: Start early! We were cursing ourselves for not being able to spend much time on the peak. So start as early as 5.30 to 6.00 hrs. Carry enough water (2 liters per person helps) and lot of snacks, chocolates for stamina. It is advisable to carry torch light since it gets pitch black at night. If you need further clarifications contact me at vidshank02@gmail.com and Praveen at SrinivasPraveen@hotmail.com

Till I Hurt You Again..

2005-12-14T10:48:00.000+05:30

Under the shades of menorah trunks,
She lays restless, awaiting!
Their reminiscent union harks back
In her thoughts, like the quilted grass
Moving spinelessly, to the autumn breeze!
The withered, leaves the tree and
Silently plummets into the iridescent tarn,

Her absent self jolted back
By a hand from behind mollycoddling
Her torso, with as much pain and severity
As the soul that had it felt!

And soon everything is psychedelic!
The severance is lost with the conjoined souls
Insouciant and oblivious of time, levitate
From their cadaver and into a pristine state
Of ecstasy, kissing caressing and making love!

Epoch crossed, even ages lived in this very moment!
As this divine unison and its philharmonic ritual
Seize to exist and slowly the somnolent selves wake up
From this perpetual tyranny and depart in silence!

Escaping Osiris

2005-12-12T16:00:00.000+05:30

Fear creeps in,
Mind goes blank,
Eyes grow wide,
Lips splinter,
Throat dries,
Heart pounds,
Nerves quiver,
Hands shake,
Body weakens,
Legs tremble,
Soul suffers...

for

I'm closer!
Lying with you,
Breathing your air,
Smelling your scent,
Touching your skin,
Holding your arms,
Escaping this
Mortal sanctum!!

Remy Martin

2005-10-18T18:00:00.000+05:30

The Rain had poured and long exhausted;
Droplets dripping and making rhythms!
The breeze wet and mulishly cold,
Surges through the paisley floors!

A lone soul convenes near a shady porch;
Nothing is heard except when silence spoke!
The ebbing cigar in his mouth sleeps and unsleeps;
The fumes forming into haunting ghostly beasts!

The Polkas in The Futon seems to bop around!
Or is it his futile efforts to forget and rebound?
The quietude night passes sans inner peace;
On the tray, the scattered pineapples and cheese!

The somnolent self whining in the dark;
High with trepidation and anxiety!
Pain from the past etched like a stain;
The bittersweet cognac still warm in the veins!

Cardigans

2005-10-07T16:39:00.000+05:30

Embezzling every bit of the warmth, on a cold November night,
Icy fumes dodging the splintered lips and then vanishing!

The dews almost always seems to escape from the cedrus,
Dripping off and running down the spine!

Legs strained and aching to walk the snow filled side walks!
Hands wrinkled, numb and half dead, sulks deep into the pockets searching comfort

Struggling to catch up with desperations within!
Uneasiness creeps in, but nothing is done to make feel any better,

Past so stressful and nauseated with nothingness, clouding inside…
Wondering if the moribund thoughts be hidden deep as well!!

I Dont Know Why!

2005-10-04T17:55:00.000+05:30

I don’t know why..
When i think about the time we laughed; i cry
I don’t know why..
When i think about the time we fought; i smile!

I don’t know why..
When i see or hear a song we both liked; i cry
I don’t know why..
When i see your name written somewhere; i smile!

I don’t know why..
When i don’t hear from you; i cry
I don’t know why..
When i am listening to your babbles; i smile!

I don’t know why..
When i see you sad; i cry
I don’t know why..
When i see you merry; i smile!

The Priory of Clowns

2005-09-26T17:46:00.000+05:30

A circus's foundry came to life with its
Arena over flown by kids, men and their wives;
Some old, sober and sleepy,
Some young, vigilant and curious
Awaiting the arrival of foolish men and their troop of evangelists!

Lions, tigers, camels and elephant marching sans pride;
Performing the task laid down by their masters and his whips
The crowd roars, applauds and ponder with awe!
The mortal creatures amusing with their perfunctory tricks!

And then enters the ebullient men dressed in loose pajamas
Creased with funny red nose and face painted bright;
Without primp they jump, they dive, they roll and cry!
Facetiously enacting lives worst tragedies and man's best moments;

Fraught with misery the jesters make them happy
Wearing disguise and mocking back at the incognito world!

A Message in the Bottle

2005-09-22T17:20:00.000+05:30

Alone in this shore of solitude;
Rests an abandoned bottled sealed tight!
Tides gulping it, feeling it and retrieving uninterested;

Inside it lays a paper coiled with words of plight;
Meanings deeper, truth closer to heart of the one, who wrote,
Lays within; unknown, untouched and quivering !

Sinking slowly but steadily, the bottle reaches deep
With it, the truth from a shallow heart's steep!

The Confronted

2005-08-31T17:07:00.000+05:30

It was ten past seven on a Thursday evening when my bus dropped me at my stop. From where I stood, I looked at the sky and was pretty sure that it would rain. The clouds were jus foaming up and the smell of the fresh air, one could experience before the first rain was so intense! At seven it looked like midnight. I started to walk towards my apartment half sleepy and hungrier. As I was striding, different thoughts crept my mind. Various things that had happened in office, the work I did and what was ahead of me the impending day! Then suddenly this thought crept in from nowhere!! As if my mind had paved way to this thought alone and nothing else. All of a sudden every other thought drifted away and my mind was over this one strange nausea that my instinct told was no good! What was it? Was it a fear, a reminder maybe? I wasn’t sure. With my mind crowded and thoughts skewed I begin to walk fast! Faster than ever ...something told me that I had to get home soon. Maybe it is about something with my house. Maybe I had left the door ajar! Or worse left my computer on from the previous night work!
I reached my apartment in no time and wanted to take the stairs instead of the lift to reach the 2nd floor. I always knew I was faster in steps than taking a lift (and partly I was claustrophobic and avoided closed space to the best I can!). I reached my house and took the key from my purse to unlock the door. I was partly relieved to see the door was locked properly. A silent moment passed by. My heart was pounding harder from taking the staircase. Taking a deep breath I went inside.
Then it struck me! I was shocked to sense it. The whole house smelt pungent...As if something had been burnt or worst someone had been burnt alive! The odor was so bad that it hit me the moment I opened the door! It was so suffocating to be there and each minute my heart was pounding double hard. I couldn’t breathe or think. Everything within urged me to get out of there and yet I was standing there wondering and trying to make sense of the situation. I knew the smell was coming from the kitchen...so I dropped my bag in the floor and went right into the kitchen. Frightened and intoxicated by the smell, that grew more and more as i drew close to the kitchen. I was fighting the fear within, though my body was too tired from that days work and was wanting to run away from whatever I was about to face! I entered the kitchen and there it was, lying in the sink piled and ugly. Its enormity shocked me and its condition made me feel like puking! No one was around and I realized it was solely up to me to handle it. Mustering my courage I inched forward to the sink and sighed ...breathing more harder than before I realized I had only short moments left to stop whatever was there in that sink from growing more clumsy, more complex and more powerful than me.
Wiping the tiny droplet of sweat that precipitated around my forehead I tied across myself the sorry looking apron and off I went to wash the utensils that were left unclean, untouched for days together maybe months , since my maid had gone for vacation...!

Rappers Rhyme

2005-08-11T14:11:00.000+05:30

Here I go, with yet anotha scoop of words from mind!
Words that ma mind and ma soul had failed to bind!

Deep in this mind of mine are scars of past!
Scars; you long back had left of lova holocaust!

The pain inside, feels like meltin stone of crust!
Stoned nd high; of knowing not whom to trust!

Who will care, when no one got no time to spare!
Time nd time again I wish to, but not dare!

Failure; aint no option, (i) gotta a race to chase!
Race so real; tht you and i are bound to face!

Fears of my past encloud me like a wall of bricks!
Walled up around me cheating and playing its tricks!

Drifted alone, I try but take wrong turns!
Taking down with it every faith and trust ive earned!

Weak and sick of all this i want to move ahead!
And be; able to face any thing that i wud ever dread!

So here i stand, blocking all but that chanting chime!
Words don count, nor they mean a thing for this, is nothin but a rappers rhyme!

Follow Me not!

2005-07-29T17:46:00.000+05:30

I’ve seen you many times following me;
Behind my back lurking

You speak no words, and make no noise;
As if silently creeping without a choice!!

When I stop, you seem to stop;
When I run you keep up with me

With every step of mine, yours resonate;
As if you and I were one and the same!

Walking down the road I feel you near;
With sudden splash of light, you distort and disappear!

-My shadow

Unspoken and so forth!!

2005-07-26T17:24:00.000+05:30

Words you thought of but not tell…
Urges deep inside of you that I wished to spell,
Cries of your heart never clear…
Or is it I who never wished to hear?
Words often not maketh their thoughts
Endless commotions that the mind has fought!!
Speaking the mind has never been that easy!
Cos speaking it would only make us feel uneasy!
Every time I am so close to you,
Speaking to you, and seeing this world in your view!
Will you be thinking about it?
Wondering how to make your thoughts fit!
Patience has never been my virtue!
Longing to hear your love for me would mean a torture!
But still will i wait to hear you speak
For in your words are the truth I seek!!

Aint no Loner !!

2005-07-21T16:40:00.000+05:30

The past three days have been really exhausting!! Lot of work has come my way and to top it off, I had fever and a sour throat from a journey I made to Bangalore from Chennai. I had a great deal of good time with the hood! Met Lavi (Sis) and her hubby, went out, gave gyaan to younger cousin, managed to make some awesome sweets for my colleagues!
When I returned back half hearted as usual unwilling to let go of the warmth and cozy embrace of my hommies, I got sick of drinking mineral water (surprise!) Funny as it may sound, because I was used to drinking all kinds of water; good or bad! One thing good about being a Chennaite is you get mutated and prone to any kind of contaminated water as water is friggin scarce!! I mean you really can find water in mars but nah nah!! Not in Chennai!! But this time it was plain fucking mineral water! Properly sealed, labeled and hopefully from a new stock! As soon as I returned Bangalore I knew I ate shit (more or less!) and had started feeling really uneasy with the sourness in throat. Came to the apartment by early morning and crashed straight in to the bed!! When I woke up to get ready for work did I realize I was feeling sick!! I had to manage to get ready and start for
Office, feeling terrible and home sick. All i wanted was to get back to my parents and tell them I was sick and that I dint wanted to go for work!! But ive had done that enough in school that my parents really wouldn’t believe me! I was a sucker when it comes to bunking school and tuitions! Well that’s a different epic altogether.
The bottom-line was that I was alone in Bangalore and was feeling genuinely sick! Feeling desperate and tired I told my friends my situation to gain some sympathy and they were really helpful. One of my friends threatened me for not going to check with the doc! She was like; if I don’t meet the doctor she would make me meet one! My roomy saw my condition and felt pitiful! He cooked our dinner’s everyday without having to bother me! Actually he was more than happy to cook his own food since he is not that fond of mine!! The worst had passed. Took tablets; lotta rest! And most importantly had my friends around eyeing on me and helping me whenever I was in trouble! After a long time I felt at home; staying away from one! It is so nice to be with people who love you, care about you and pamper you when you are in need!!

I would like to perhaps write on my grave when I die… (If they bury me, that is!)
"Here lies a man who knew how to be with caring and good friends”

Ps(Hike) em out!!

2005-07-12T14:47:00.000+05:30

Today has exceptionally been a big day for me! Why?...well today i had my employee’s and salary review and I must say I am quiet thrilled. I have spent a considerable time of 11 months in an reputed MNC and at the end of 11 months here I am waiting to go inside my boss room to have the glimpse of what they have or rather how much they have in stock for me! I have no clue how much ill be getting or what I am going to do with that extra money! Would it really matter? Will it make a huge difference in life for me? All I could think of is that extra pitcher of beer I have always promised my buddies whenever we hang out in pub!. My salary hike may not been the best...! But it is definitely far better than what some of my senior peers have received. Among the freshers who had joined the firm I was rated the best for my communication and interpersonal skills! I am at edge when compared to my colleagues and I would valiantly struggle to keep it that way!!

04-07-05 "A Revisit"

2005-07-04T19:42:00.000+05:30

Howdy People!!

Yes i know it had indeed been a very...very long time since I did anything creatively stupendous for me to actually Blog it!! I just have the same ol' reason to give people who had been eagerly awaiting my next post (That would be none other than my mom and my bro)! Well! It is W O R K!! I have been given a bigger and better task at the work front to push the envelope of my abilities and hard work!! Like I said earlier I am not complaining. I in fact love every walk of it! There had been many instances when I had come up with short quirks and flashes of thoughts all pointless and irrelevant as usual to most who might hear or read them!! But like is said you would much delightfully be seeing them in the upcoming weeks (hopefully!) Since that is what this Blog is all about!! Unspoken, unwritten thoughts of an eluded mind!

I had some great experiences with some of my friends off late (new and old alike!) who had always been a part of my growing self! I would also be writing about them and the experiences I shared with them in the following weeks (fingers crossed), since I felt that I had not reveled much about the contacts I have with this humanly world. So keep watching this space for more updates on what and how it really feels to be...within 4 walls!!

05-04-05

2005-05-04T17:55:00.000+05:30

This is one of those phases of my life where I have nothing else to do other than the monotonous work. It is not that I am complaining or anything. Let every human being be given the freedom to express himself/herself without any prejudice!!

Work is in fact going great and I can’t complain. With new found team members and newer expectations, it is only getting bigger and better!! Otherwise my life seems to be interesting. With most of my friends around, I have been partying double hard on the weekends. It is like a little token of gift I present myself over hard work. I have done the best and have had the best of the times. And I am only awaiting greater opportunities !!

Tickle down theory; ways to spoil your peer’s mood:

2005-04-19T16:30:00.000+05:30

Yeah you heard me right! Give an impromptu tickle from behind to anyone who is immersed in his work or (into the computer screen in my case) and nothing can aggravate their anger better! It feels like an excruciating shock running through your spines and up to your brain reminding you of the pathetic world you had forgotten to be while minding your own little business!! Apparently I go through it every once in a while from a very good friend of mine who, if doesn’t have any work will hop from cubicle to cubicle bugging everyone off their work and when they are completely out of mood to work, goes back to his own cubicle and starts fiddling with his computer or whatever!! I warned him couple of times and told him that his behavior was intimidating. But he never listens to it. I even told him that I would complain this uncanny behavior to our PL. But then I thought, what would I tell my boss? That this fellow is disturbing me with his odd behavior? I thought I was over with it in my high school! I realized that this situation needs a more matured way of dealing. So the next time he closes on me from behind, I am going to spray pepper spray on his eyes and roll him aside leaving him to wiggle in pain!! How about that!! Huh? If there is any other way of handling this problem in a more diplomatic way, you let me know!

It was raining yesterday!!

2005-04-18T16:40:00.000+05:30

I was walking along the pavement of a busy road...
Road that had wheels and heels everywhere...
"Everywhere I turned I could see people preoccupied and distant…
Distant enough I too stood and waited for people to pass by
Passers by wondering if I was lost in the middle of nowhere..!
Where I stood I look skyward bored and feeling out of place
Placing my mind, heart and soul on that beautiful and dark blue sky,
Sky was where I wanted to be; not this sinned underneath
Underneath, I could sense a sudden surge of joy
Joy that my words failed to suffice and yet
Adequate enough to uplift and enlighten me
And myself with its cold and spine chilling wind abreeze
Breeze that was new, fresh and inspiring
Inspiration was not of the breeze but the drizzle that soon followed
Following and flowing to its heart’s full
Full of joy and content was what I was filled with
With that thought close to my heart, I walked
Walking the wet and free roads over and over again
Again and back to my own childhood memories
Memories so blue and fresh so much like the rain!!

Reaper

2005-04-14T17:39:00.000+05:30

Today was rocking with less work and more time towards my Blog. And what can i say..i am NOT COMPLAINING! My first upload of my art in this blog...!!

A quick indulgance in Photoshop

The Plinth Hole

2005-04-14T16:00:00.000+05:30

Yup that is what it is...a plinth hole....You know you’ve reached some where and so u enjoy being there...everything slows down and you grasp for a breath, looking back the path you had just traveled...and then all of a sudden ...without any warning you fall down this pit with not a single second to think about anything...you fall deep inside, going as if you’ve been flushed out of some system. The deeper you go, the deeper it hurts. Every time you think about that fall, and every time you think of being there it feels like a nightmare that haunts your every living moment...All this and more comes and crushes you under its mighty thumb where you mercilessly struggle for an escape. For People who had been there and faced that...This is yet another scribble on love screw ups....!!

Please do not mistake this for one of those sweet letters and poems guys and girls take advantage of, when they are in love...nor are these prose people would write to amuse themselves and their peers in the aftermath of any relationship. I am not sure where to place it...so ill leave it to you. To me this is nothing more than just a mouthful of phlegm that I wanted to spew out...mouthful of words carelessly describing the state of mind one get oneself self into!

Pity me...Paper and pen doesn’t reach deeper as much as pixel and mouse used to. Henceforth reading this might make one wonder why I dint composite the thoughts in any coherent order. That’s the way it goes. Just like how one’s brain functions...doesn’t follow any order. It moves faster than the speed of light, thinking about everything from peanuts in a vase to an astronaut in space. It hovers from thoughts to thought and every time you think about that special some one....a momentary silence follows and your heart slows down. You fell so much emancipated when u think them, as time moves in its dangerous microscopic seconds....your thoughts so naked and unbound by barriers only you have control over it. And then you gasp for that precious breath which you otherwise would have missed to breathe.
I don’t know who is to be blamed for such a situation, is it me? Is it her? or our inability to understand the way things have been going on? Whatever it is, I have grown tired thinking about it!
And all that is left now is disgust, embarrassment and hatred towards an otherwise perfect relationship.

(Extracted and modified from Metamorphosis by Sundar Venkatraman, originally written by Vidhya Shankar during January 2004)

Etiquettes and how to humiliate one in its absentia!!

2005-04-14T15:38:00.000+05:30

Ok I admit it. I thought I was the last person in this er! Cubicle to think something of that sort happen to myself. What I have been going through at my work space is more dreadful than what my worst fears could explain.
The problem I have been facing is rather simple yet an overseen issue of communication gap and lack of socializing with the right group!
The problem is that my peers fail to identify the fact that one doesn’t know the language they are speaking while they are out for coffee and lunch breaks. They can go hours together without even realizing how odd and different one would be feeling in that situation.
Nothing can be pathetic than people commenting and criticizing you right in front of your face and you are wondering if they are complimenting on your new hairdo. One gets so lost when we are out there socializing, as it never occurred to me why they have ignored such a sensitive issue of respecting the presence of someone new to their hood and someone who doesn’t understand the language! To me it is about accepting the person into your private communication circle and making him feel at home and comfortable. Just imagine making boats out of tissue papers, checking how long my thumb nail had grown is all one gets to enjoy out of one’s socializing with my colleagues. It is not that they get to have inspiriting talks either.

This problem had been so ever since I had joined and I had lost even the minutest of the hope that they will one day realize that someone beyond their linguistic ability to communicate happens to work with them and that it was high time they negotiate to speak and use a verbal cue that the common multitude might understand. And I am not asking something that is tough or cannot be done. Mind you that all my peers all have flaring degrees and honors from leading and reputed universities all of which happens to be English medium!! Guess some things can never change!

The Anomalies of Two-wheeler drive in Bangalore!!

2005-04-14T12:17:00.000+05:30

If you happen to be an IT professional working in a reputed software firm in Bangalore Karnataka, the odds of you having nervous breakdowns, acute depression is very high. If your work has half its toll on your health then the route you take and the vehicle you drive shares the other half or even more.
In order to be a surviving motorists in the streets of Bangalore you need to first, NOT have a license so that when cops tries to stop you, you can throttle up and zoom past escaping him and the quick left turn you are supposed to take for your office!.
Secondly have no respect whatsoever to traffic rules and mainly on the motorists who are law abiding citizens!
Thirdly NEVER have a perfectly maintained bike or car as it is likely to get damaged anyways while you carefully try to maneuver through the busy roads!

When you get stuck in a traffic jam which is most of the time..Why don’t you take some of the down listed itinerates and preparation to entertain yourself while the traffic moves in a snails pace.
To start with, you need a cell phone which you definitely have to hold in one hand, with your head bent towards it while your other hand is on wheels...this will help the blood circulation to gush through your system perfectly and more importantly obscure your vision of the person crossing the road in front of you!
Secondly a radio or a music system in case you are driving a car. Now the best way to expereince this would be to raise all the windows up and increase the volume of the speaker to the fullest so that you can forget the daily buzz ling life all around you and can give yourself completely to the music. This way the guy who is honking behind you might be unheard by you and you wont budge to pave way for the traffic. Thirdly anything from being drunk to being deaf, blind would help you to oversee such preposterous conditions!!

As a pedestrian, I only have one advice to give to fellow side walkers. Don’t use the pedestrian or BE DEAD! When you are on the sidewalks during a traffic jam, it is advisable and safe to be on the middle of the road if you have the guts of your grand mother because one can see all the two wheelers, bicycles and even sometimes cars speeding their way through the platforms and on sidewalks leaving little or no space for commoners like me to walk with!!

“May the best insurance policies be with you!!”

Beyond Plinth Hole!!

2005-04-13T15:26:00.000+05:30

Welcome to the world of lost love. A territory that is marked with disgust, guilty feeling, solitude and misery. I hate to admit it but I jus had a relationship break up and I have been going through what every goddamn soul has gone through in their break ups. A sense of solidarity and low self esteem clouds and stands as a barrier between your perpetual self and the outside world. I must say that I had rather an interesting time over the past few months, with all kinds of thoughts creeping in and out of me constantly and felt that I am beginning to lose myself to acute depression. But luckily for me I had the will and support of my peers, family and mainly my elder brother (hereafter referred as big bro) who also went through a similar phase! I had so much to learn from him and he was very protective and concerned about how I got through it. I wow him a big thanks for reintroducing me to my art. He told me that the best way to rediscover one’s self is to challenge the self with something one is good at!! It never struck me until I actually found myself lost in the enormity of what my art had to offer. I was not a pro artist, but whatever I begin to create gave me a new meaning altogether and I rediscovered myself. During my lazy weekends at home I engaged myself hours together to draw and create what I always loved to do; aliens and robots!!

My work kept me engaged for eight hours a day and nothing could be more distracting than that. After my days work I had to come home and cook for my supper (no not the last supper!!) My roomies were always particular about my cooking. If there was a day when I had to cook, they try and finish off their dinner in some hotel or fast food joint!! Or best they would even go hungry!.

If you ask me there is nothing that could beat authentic home cooked food! Having said that to myself every day and mustering a great deal of courage I start to venture into cooking. I slowly started liking the process which to me is no different than doing an art. While cooking one has to be generous, free of inhibitions and not necessarily a “know how” in cooking!!

After an impromptu cooking session and an unfortunate eating ceremony in front of the prime times, off I go to sleep. Before that I make sure I feel thankful to the god for having given me such an interesting twists and turns in life and about all the situations I often get into and how I come through it only to remember that…

“When everything has been going wrong…Remember!! that it could have been worse!!”

Clenched thoughts!!

2005-04-12T17:15:00.000+05:30

Today has been surprisingly a very busy day at work with hours of flying sessions in the simulator and checking for snags and errors. Jus when I was about to sit and stir my creative self to conscious, I had an issue to attend of which I had the least possible idea and I believe rest of the evening will be the same!!

Boredom doesnt kill gentlemen...work does!!

what's Within 4 Walls

2005-04-11T16:52:00.000+05:30

It took me an awful lot of time to actually come up with this one. It was like as though suddenly I felt guilty about not taming those words that crept in my mind and made something meaningful out of it. I thought I might miss my opportunity to put something that I had always marveled of, in a time capsule so it can be discovered and cherished for the times to come.
This space will best describe the state of mind I get myself into!! I often shut myself to the outer world but a lot must be going inside that mind of mine. For some time now I have been experiencing a gush of thoughts ranging anything from a script for an action movie to do something ensemble with clay or piece of wood. Instead I chose to do something I always missed doing. Something I never knew I had in me. I chose to write (surprise!)
What one will see in this Blog will be far beyond the arbitrary of , such coherent thoughts. The ones shared here comes from a much deeper mind, a mind that only recently have I started to probe in!

why Within 4 Walls..?

2005-04-11T15:37:00.000+05:30

Hi welcome to my very own first Blog created after a long and painstaking hours of thoughts, acute depression, peer pressure (ok I made that up!) and much wasted office work hours and resources!. Whatever one reads or hear in this space is a resonance of what I have faced in my daily life filled full of surprises, pleasure and pain!!
As an artist and a 3D modeler by profession I had the great privilege of experiencing the world of vibrant colors, dimensions, flawless beauty, and perpetual existence through art. Something very special and so unique that not every mortal soul has the ability to experience!
But for the past few excruciating months (After I broke up on my first ever and two year long relationship with a girl) this had not been so. I wanted something more! More than what my pencils and brushes could offer. I wanted to see my thoughts in a totally different dimension. Only this time in words and parahs instead of strokes and forms. For that reason and more my cries, thoughts, moments and incidents Within 4 Walls.

A Cry Within 4 Walls

2005-04-09T04:43:00.001+05:30

Hello Bloggers!

Im working very seriuosly to set this one up and running!! Keep your ears clean! and open b'cos the walls have begin to speak!!